Sweetheart celebrates minutesary, spends every minute

MANILA, Philippines – ANNIVERSARY? Monthsary? It’s cliché.

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A screenshot of their greeting, celebrating their minutesary. Courtesy of a netizen in Senyora Santibañez page.

In a post in Senyora Santibañez’s Facebook page, a couple had been very sweet, sweeter than sugar for a single reason: they celebrate their relationship every minute. While most couples and sweethearts had celebrate their relationship annually, semiannually, quarterly, monthly, or even everyday, this couple was the sweetest couple in the world.

When asked why they have to celebrate their status every minute, they replied, “Yun kasing relationship, di mo alam kung kailan mawawala iyan sa iyo. Sabi pa nga ni Marcelo Santos, “Walang forever.” Miminsan ka ngang nabigyan ng pagkakataong magkaroon ng bf or gf, so we should spend and enjoy our moments together every minute.” (English, “You’ll never know if that relationship will not be with you. Marcelo Santos had said, “There’s no forever.” You had been given a chance to have this relationship once, so we should spend and enjoy our moments together every minute.”)

As of this moment, they have plans to celebrate their relationship every second, or what they called as “secondsary.”


WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.

Albay Gov to be awarded Nat’l Scientist re Xian’s fiasco

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Xian Lim in Albay. Photo courtesy of Philippine News website (Philnews.ph)

LEGAZPI CITY, Albay – ALBAY GOVERNOR JOEY SALCEDA, after throwing harsh comments on Xian Lim’s untoward act he did while he was on the said province, and after forgiving the young actor, will be named as National Scientist by the Philippine government “for discovering another principle in science that can be applied in everyday life.” It further stressed that the governor of Albay should be named as a National Scientist for contributing another scientific work to the world.

Xian Lim, in his tour to Albay, had been given a t-shirt and a coffee table book by the Provincial Tourism Council of Albay Organization (PTCAO), in which he had allegedly refused these, and said further that “I did not come here to promote Albay; I come here to promote my clothing endorsement.” This “triggered” Gov. Joey Salceda to criticize Xian Lim, as was said earlier in the Philippine Star:

On his previous post, the governor said, “if his road manager checks his record, Albay paid for his many guestings since way back 2011 when his talent fee was just P75.000 (Ginoo ni Magayon) and now P350,000 for Fiesta Tsinoy Albay. Its either 1. His parents did not raise him well. 2. He had bad education. 3. He is not managed well. 4. His character is inversely proportional to his looks. 5. He is on something.”

  • Salceda’s post on Facebook c/o PhilStar

In the said post, he had formulated a hypothesis that “His character is inversely proportional to his looks.”

When asked if he had tested already the hypothesis, Salceda replied, “No need to test the hypothesis. Yung kalokohang ginawa ni Xian, experiment na iyan. Tested na ang hypothesis na iyan.” (The folly done by Xian, that’s experiment. That hypothesis was tested already.)

Salceda’s Theory of Character and Looks states that every “character is inversely proportional to his looks.” He explained that his theory can be expressed in the equation: Character = Person/Looks, or Person = Character*Looks

Governor Salceda shared, “Yung person, kailangang i-assign iyan ng value of 100, kasi iyon ang magrerepresent sa 100 percent ng pagkataong sinusukat mo. Doon sa Looks, ilagay mo lang ang absolute number from 1 to 100. Kung sobrang confident na pogi siya, puwede mong ilagay ay 90 or 95. Kung medyo pogi, puwede na ang 50. Kung wala siyang looks, as in zero talaga, undefined ang character niya. Then divide 100 by the number that you chose. Yung number na lalabas sa Character, iyon na ang percentage ng kanyang character.

He further stressed,“Gusto ko lang i-inform na kahit medyo effective ito, siyempre hindi naman ito applicable sa lahat ng lalaki.”

When asked if his theory will be used, he expressed that the fiasco between him and Xian should be forgotten, and that if many people will use his theory, he will extend his gratitude to them.

Meanwhile, the Système International d’Unités (also known as the SI, which started the metric system) has placed in Person an absolute scale of 100 centixians, or 1 xian, in honor of the Kapamilya artist who inspired Salceda to formulate the said theory.


WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.