It’s Showtime gains Kuya Kim, Ms. Pastillas finds her love

BIÑAN CITY, Laguna, Philippines – The search for Mr. Pastillas is over.

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It’s Showtime hosts. Photo courtesy of ABS-CBN News.

DURING the thanksgiving celebration of It’s Showtime, they had finally seen Kim Atienza. This was amid rumors that Kim had filed earlier a leave on the show since they formerly cared more for Miss Pastillas than him, and he believed that “the segment degrades women”. A well-known rumor among netizens further stated that “other hosts disagree with him, needing another match to Kalyeserye (Street Series). Kuya Kim lost in the argument, and he threatened to resign at It’s Showtime. After some talk, he was given ‘vacation.’”

It’s Showtime had finally decided to phase-out Miss Pastillas, since they realized that nothing better will happen if they keep on waiting for many applicants like Coco Martin and yet, she did not pick even a single guy. A staff who refused to reveal her name added that “kung ipipilit pa rin nila ang segment na iyan, hindi na magiging masaya ang Animversary ng programa. Lalong mawawalan ng tao sa lungsod ng Biñan.” (if they still insist to maintain that segment, the program’s sixth anniversary would not be happy. They will further lose spectators in Biñan City.)

When asked what he had done during his leave days, Kuya Kim stated that he had done taping on his program Matanglawin.

Not known from the Showtime hosts was the secret meeting of Miss Pastillas with Lola Nidora. At the time they are still hosting the program in the city, Angelica Jane Yap had asked Lola on how to choose from among the guys. The latter replied that Miss Pastillas should not rush in finding her true love. Her last words to the maiden were “Maganda ka naman. Hayaan mong sila ang manligaw sa iyo. Darating din siya sa tamang panahon.” (You’re beautiful. Let them court you. He will come at the right time.)


As Rebisco is thinking of strategies to boost their sales on candies, they are still finding and pursuing endorsers on its present line of candies like Mr. Yema, Mr. Buko, Mr. Kofi, Mr. Mais, and Mr. Keso.

media_cbe478629fa2657e320c89c16fa5dceeRecently, John Nang, the president of Rebisco, announced that they will produce another candy, and this will be called Mr. Pastillas. He further explained that, “Finally, we now have an answer to the question, ‘Nasaan ka (Where are you), Mr. Pastillas?’ Here it is. Sana tumigil na ang It’s Showtime sa kakahanap kay Mr. Pastillas. (It’s Showtime should now stop finding him.) We have now created that product.”

As of present, they are calling Angelica Jane to announce that her search for Mr. Pastillas is finally over. They are also offering her to endorse the said candy, the date which he refused to answer.


WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.

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