Star Cinema revives FPJ classic, P-Noy assigns NAIA to DA

PASAY CITY, Philippines – Planting a bullet is no joke.

A passenger of NAIA, with his package wrapped with plastic and note.

Due to increasing cases of tanim-bala (“bullet-planting”) in the recent days, after the news had reached the international media, and after politicians and presidentiables had wasted their talk in fighting against this issue, Star Cinema finalized its plans to revive another FPJ classic, “Isang Bala Ka Lang” (Just A Bullet). This shall be their final entry to the Metro Manila Film Fashion (MMFF) for December.

Docu-classic movie

Fresh with higher ratings in revival of FPJ’s Ang Probinsyano, Star Cinema thought of reviving another work of Da King. As explained by the management, due to lack of time, they decided to make a revival movie version of his work. Aside from revisiting the FPJ classic, they had sought to adopt the film to the present issue of ‘tanim-bala’. This includes probing of the modus operandi in the airport.

The cinema arm of the Kapamilya network expects that the classic-turned-documentary of the movie will give pride and honor to the country, alongside independent or indie films. It was because they hired the best probers and investigators in the News and Current Affairs department and in other departments in ABS-CBN. These probers will work with the creative team of the movie, Star Cinema further said.

As of this writing, the cinema management is pressing Grace Poe to play the main character, since Poe asserted that she will continue the ‘legacy’ of Da King. Gus Abelgas and the KMJS researchers are the other stars in ‘Isang Bala Ka Lang’.

Planting bullet, reaping anger

Meanwhile, at the airport, tensions between airport employees and passengers remained high. Instead of responding to various passengers’ complaints on ‘tanim-bala’ scam, the Manila Inserting Ammunitions Agency or MIAA had ordered posting of signages within the airport containing the following messages to travellers:

  • A bullet a day keeps tourists away.
  • Magtanim ng bala’y di biro. (Planting a bullet is no joke.)
  • For an extended stay, let someone plant bullets for you.
  • Bullet as amulet? Let’s see if it protects you from being prosecuted.
  • Be prepared.
  • No bullet? No problem. We got it all for you.
  • Having a bullet? We have a gun.
  • We can’t see kilograms of drugs, but we can see even a single bullet.
  • Isang bala ka lang. (Just a bullet.)
  • We don’t plant it. You don’t plant it? It’s a miracle.
  • Mannas came down from heaven. So are bullets.

Other destination

At present, President Noynoy Aquino has no tough response to address the issue. However, he issued an executive order assigning National Ammunitions Insertion Airport (NAIA) to the Department of Agriculture (DA). The president expressed that he issued it realizing that DOTC secretary Jun Abayan had lacked jurisdiction over the airport sector. This explained how he slowly responded to this untoward incident. Also, the agriculture department really knew how to plant bullets with the help of Filipino farmers.

When asked on the ‘tanim-bala’ issue, Jun Abayan had told the passengers, “Look for other airports.”


WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.


Featured Image Credit: Passenger’s message to airport inspectors. His/her message in English, “Reminder/s: I love my family. I am not stupid. My bag has no bullet/s inside.”

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