Congressman extends citizenship to Fil-foreigners

Senator Mary Grace Poe Llamanzares, running for president, will benefit from the bill once signed by President Aquino. Photo by Jonathan Cellona for ABS-CBNnews.com

QUEZON CITY, Quezon Province, Philippines – Misplaced Filipino pride.

Sensing that media companies frequently and abusively invoke the Filipino blood of foreign entertainers to “lift” the Philippine pride, 7th District Congressman John Aballa of Negros Occidental had drafted House Bill No. 6327, or “An Act Extending Filipino Citizenship to Foreigners with Filipino Blood, Appropriating Funds Therefor And For Other Purposes”.

When asked on the purpose of writing the bill, he told, “Sa totoo lang, nakakahiya na tayo. Sasabihin ng ibang dayuhan sa atin, ‘Aba, ang mga Pinoy na ito ay walang pinagkaiba sa mga Intsik kung makaangkin.’” (The truth is, we are such a disgrace. Foreigners will tell us, “These Filipinos are no different to the Chinese when it comes to claiming things as theirs.)

“I am reminded what the media had painted Cyrus Villanueva of X-Factor Australia as Filipino. Actually on this issue, a netizen had shared this to me, ‘I’m just embarassed when my Australian friends here are seeing these types of post. When they say, Cyrus is Australian, and born here regardless of Filipino blood, why do Filipinos claim that he is a Filipino and disregard his Australian blood and citizenship? I don’t know how to explain to my Australian friends why Filipinos have the attitude to claim all the time.’”

“Misplaced na ang Filipino pride, at matagal na nangyayari iyan. Mga ten years or so? Hindi. Baka mas mahaba pa. Matagal na iyang ginagawa ng media. (Filipino pride is misplaced, and that is happening a long time ago. Ten years or so? No. It might be longer. Media’s doing it for so long.) They are also no different to my colleagues who are epal (attention-seekers).”

At dahil misplaced na, (And because it’s misplaced already,) some netizens will tell that ‘Mas maigi na iyan, dahil may dugong Pilipino sila, kaya nakikilala tayo.Eh di wow! (That’s better, we have been famous because of their Filipino blood. That’s wow!) The question is, when Fil-foreigners – foreigners mostly in heart and mind but incidentally Filipino by blood – step on stage of other countries, do they really lift the pride of every Filipino? Buti na lang meron tayong(Fortunately we have) Arnel Pineda, Rose Fostanes, 4th Impact, [and] Jordan Clarkson, sana makuntento na tayo sa kung ano’ng meron sa atin(hope we will  be contented on what we have now).”

Citing that the media is insisting on claiming Fil-foreigners as Filipinos, and to avoid confusion to the general public in describing both the Fil-foreiger’s allegiance and citizenship, the congressman drafted a bill. Under the proposed bill, Filipino citizenship will be extended to foreigners who have at least 0.0000001% of Filipino blood, provided he/she passes the DNA testing.

With automatic extension of citizenship, Aballa hopes that they can now own real properties, purchase stocks of companies reserved for Filipinos, vote, and hold public offices, and enjoy other privileges reserved for natural-born citizens.

“We have to note that even if they are really foreigners, we will recognize them as Filipino citizens. Anyway, our principle of jus sanguinis tells us that Fil-foreigners are Filipino citizens too.”

On the question if Queen Elizabeth will be benefited from the law, he told, “We can’t tell that. In fact, Queen Elizabeth’s blood is a mixture of various races. But who knows, even a hint of Filipino blood in her can be seen. Maybe, if she proves that one of her ancestors is a Filipino, we can automatically provide her Filipino citizenship.”

When asked if Grace Poe, who was being attacked not only on insufficient residency requirement but more on allegations that she is still an American citizen, Aballa replied, “Yes, Grace Poe can benefit from the law if signed [by the President]. With even a hint of a Filipino blood, she can now run for president. Makakalusot pa nga siya sa DQ ng (She might bypass disqualification case of) COMELEC.Sana maipasa ito bago magkaroon ng break ang Kongreso. (Wish this be passed before the break of Congress.)”

The Bureau of International Revenues (BIR) Commissioner Kimmy Hinares recently issued Revenue Regulation 18-2015 stating that “for tax purposes, Filipino-foreigners who will be covered by this act, once passed, will be considered as non-resident citizens. Therefore, they are subject to all taxes as prescribed by the National Internal Revenue Code for non-resident citizens.”


Featured Image: Cyrus Villanueva, a Filipino-Australian, from ABS-CBNNews.com’s Facebook page.

 

#RoxasZoned

Lalong umiinit ang patutsadahan sa pagitan ni Mar Roxas at ni Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, na pawang mga kandidato sa pagkapangulo sa susunod na taon. At ang nagsimula ng gulo ay si Mar Roxas, na nagpatutsada sa Ateneo de Manila na ang kanyang ibinigay na parangal sa Lungsod ng Dabaw ay isang malaking guni-guni lamang, kumbaga’y ilusyon lamang na ito’y matawag na isa sa pinakaligtas na lungsod sa Pilipinas.

Sa totoo lamang, may application din ang mga patutsada ni Mar Roxas pagdating sa pag-ibig. At iyon ay walang iba kundi ang ma-RoxasZoned.

Ang tanong: Ano ba ang pakiramdam kapag ikaw ay na-RoxasZoned? Ito ang pakiramdam mo habang ikaw ay nasa ligawan stage ka pa lang. Boys can relate to this:

  • Yung feeling na ang turing mo sa sarili mo ay boyfriend sa kanya:

“Boyfriend kita? It’s a myth.”

  • Yung feeling na umaasang sasagutin ka niya:

“Sa tingin mo, sasagutin pa kita? #AsaPaMore”

  • At ang mas malala pa:

“Remember, to be careful sa panliligaw. Ikaw ay nanliligaw pa lang, at ang nililigawan mo ay isang dalaga. Kung ayaw mo, bahala ka na sa buhay mo!”

  •  Kung pumalpak ka naman sa panliligaw at naghahanap ka pa ng masisisi:

“Kung pumalpak ka sa panliligaw sa akin, paano naging kasalanan ng gobyerno iyon?”


Featured Image Credit: Roxas and Duterte from Manila Bulletin site.

 

How Do Netizens Ask Hasht5?

(Disclaimer: Ang artikulong ito ay hindi isinulat upang siraan ang Hasht5, kundi upang ipakita ang pagiging pagkakomedyante at pagkamalikhain ng mga netizens.)

Nakakatawa ang mga netizens nang magbato sila ng sari-saring tanong sa nasabing grupo – kahit sa totoo lamang ay hindi nila ito kayang sagutin. Promise, nakakawala ng stress ang pagbabasa ng mga nabanggit na tanong.

Kumuha ako ng ilan sa mga nakakatawang tanong nila for your convenience. See all of these for yourself. Baka sakaling ikaw o ang Hasht5 ang makasagot sa mga tanong na iyan:

Anong magandang tanong? Haha! #AskHasht5

Paano niyo nakukuha ang cellphone ng iba sa mabilisang paraan? #AskHasht5

#AskHasht5 gaano kadalas ang minsan?

#AskHasht5 mga boss ilang cellphone na nadali nyo?

@WeAreHASHT5 ano masasabi nyo sa mga posers nyo na Hashtags? #AskHasht5

Hello po Kuya Marlou bakit po kayo nagleleggings #askhasht5

#AskHASHT5 Express your popularity by using the Cartesian Plane.

Ano ang meron sainyo na wala sa ibang mga Boy Groups? #AskHASHT5

@ClaroTheThird Kung isasapelikula nila buhay nila, sino’ng mga artista ang nais nila gumanap bilang sila. #AskHasht5

“@MasturBaker_: May tubig na po sa Mars, may balak na po ba kayong bumalik? #AskHasht5” HAHAHAHA.

@WeAreHASHT5 @Hasht5Official Hasht5 pwede daw ba magaudition tropa kong si @EdwardHandsomee gusto nya talaga eh, idol niya kayo. #AskHASHT5

Ilang cellphone ang nakukuha nyo sa isang araw? Benta nyo saken isa thankyou #AskHasht5

Paano ba mag apply sainyo? Pwede ba ako sumali? Idol na idol ko kasi si Gaara #AskHASHT5

Saang planeta po kayo galing? pwde po bang bumalik na kayo dun?  #AskHASHT5

Lisanin nyo na ang earth pls?  #AskHASHT5

Wow nag trend ang hasht5 pwede niyo ba palitan pangalan niyo ng moron5? Mga stupido #AskHASHT5

#AskHASHT5 @WeAreHASHT5 Marlou mamahalin mo ako o papatayin kita? Sumagot ka.HAHAHA./.

Kailan meet and beat nyo nang masapak ko po kayo. :)) #‎AskHASHT5

bukod sa pangit nyong mukha, ano pa ang joke nyo? #AskHASHT5

san nyo binenta yung phone ko? pakibalik naman kahit yung sim na lang #AskHASHT5

Sino si Win Gatchalian? #‎AskHASHT5

If ilog is river and tubig is water, then what are you? monster? 😂😂😂#‎AskHASHT5

@WeAreHASHT5 ang sisinungaling nyo. Sabi nyo wala kayong celfone eh anong tawag dun sa mga celfone na nasnatch nyo? #AskHasht5

musta naman ang grades nyo? #AskHASHT5

mga idol! pwede ko po ba kayong apiran…sa mukha? #AskHASHT5

Explain your looks in a 3 page essay back to back #AskHASHT5

#AskHASHT5 may meet and greet ba sa mcdo bukas?? ay wait papapasukin kaya kayo sa mcdo??

#AskHASHT5 naniniwala ba kayo sa forever? sa tingin niyo may forever tayü

KELAN CONCERT NYO SA MOA/ARANETA? 🙌🙌 *para makapag ipon nakami* @WeAreHASHT5 #AskHASHT5

ano pong klaseng band name ang HASHT5. hash-brown po ba ang naging inspiration niyo? #AskHASHT5

Anu gustu nyo maligo sa sarili mong dugo o kilitiin ni wolverine? Answer boys. #AskHASHT5

GAANO KATAAS ANG IQ NYO? BELOW SEA LEVEL O UNDER THE SEA FLOOR?? #AskHASHT5

Kailangan ko ng confidence. San niyo nakuha yung inyo nang makakuha din ako? #AskHASHT5

Kung magkakachance kayong i-palabas sa isang channel? Anong channel yon at bakit?Iniimbita nga pala kayo ng Animal channel hehe #AskHASHT5

Saan kayo pinaglihi? A. Sa unggoy B. Sa sama ng loob C. Sa utot D. All of the above #AskHASHT5

Pwede ba akong maging pang-anim na member nyo? Para Hasht6, maghahasht6 tayo ng lagim. 😂#AskHASHT5

Why is hasht5 always reminds me of toilet? #AskHASHT5

Bat hindi pa kayo kusang magpaangkin sa China? #AskHASHT5

If you were a cactus why? #AskHASHT5

What is the truth value of converse of the subaltern of the obverse of the contrary of “No Hasht5 member is handsome?” #AskHASHT5

Anong mga kinakain niyo para maiwasan ko? @WeAreHASHT5 #AskHASHT5

Mga dre ano gusto nyo?? Babasagin ko mukha nyo o babasagin ko mukha nyo? #AskHASHT5

“@Vidalmariax: #AskHASHT5 magiging totoong tao na ba lahat ng character sa naruto?”

Kayo na ba ang sinasabing KABATAAN ANG PAG ASA NG BAYAN?! #AskHasht5

Kelan daw kayo susunduin ng mga aliens? #AskHASHT5

A kangaroo is capable of jumping to a height of 2.62 m. Determine the takeoff speed of the kangaroo. #AskHASHT5 pag to di nyo sinagot!!!!

Ano po ba ang requirements para maging member nyo? 🙂 #AskHASHT5

Ano ba talaga motibo nyo sa mga video nyo, magpapogi o magpatawa? #AskHASHT5

If you will be given a chance to perform in an event, what event would it be? Funeral or Funeral? #AskHASHT5 ✌✌✌

KELAN NIYO IBABALIK YUNG MGA WALLET AT CP NA KINUHA NIYO? #AskHASHT5

#AskHASHT5 Kayo na ba magpapataob kay Alden? 😨

SAN KAYO PLANETA KAYO GALING? CURIOUS LANG 🙈 #AskHASHT5

Papatayag po ba kayo na experinentohan ng mga scientists para na prove yung existence ng missing link? #AskHASHT5

Ano itung #AskHASHT5 na ito? Unahin nyo pag-aaral nako kaya karamihan sa mga kabataan ngayon hnd na kilala ang mga bayani like Mabini. 😠

#AskHASHT5 Ka ano ano ni Marlou si Diego ng BubbleGang?

Sino pong napupusuan niyong presidentiable? #AskHASHT5

Kailan po ang world tour and paano po makakakuha ng tickets? #AskHASHT5

Ang tanong ng bayan sa leader ng hasht5. Totoo bang kayo na ni Pabebe Girl Kilay? #AskHASHT5

#AskHASHT5 Isa ba sa inyo yung Hokage? Sino yunh pulang Buhok? Umaapoy yung mata ko jan sa Buhok mo ! Haha

@WeAreHASHT5 bakit Fiebers ang tawag nyo sa mga fans nyo? Napakalayo ho sa pangalan ng grupo nyo. 😒 #AskHASHT5

saan niyo itinago ang tubig sa Mars? #AskHASHT5

Marlou, explain yourself using Direct Write-Off Method. #AskHASHT5

pag may isang “one direction” at hot si harry cute si niall pogi si louis at gwapo si liam, bakit umalis si zayn? #AskHASHT5

Now I know. Its going halloween. Trick or Treat. Early horror party? #AskHASHT5

Dahil nalalapit na ang eleksyon, kung bibigyan kayo ng tsansang maupo, ilang boltahe ang gusto niyo? #AskHASHT5

May pag asa ba si Pastillas Girl sa inyo? haha #AskHASHT5

If you guys will be partnered with Nadine Kim Kathryn Maine and Liza what kind of movie you want to do? #AskHASHT5 #ALDUBSwitch

If you guys will be given a chance to do TV commercial with ALDUB what would it be and why? #AskHASHT5 #ALDUBSwitch

Choose One: Hell or Hell? 😸 #AskHASHT5

Are you carnivores or omnivores? #AskHASHT5

explain your fame using Integral Calculus . #AskHASHT5

I need honest answer, who did stole my phone, guys? #AskHASHT5

Obviously Global Warming has been affecting you, so how are we gonna deal with it?! 🐒 #AskHASHT5

Kung may papalitan na isang parte sa mukha niyo? Bat hindi pa lahat? #AskHASHT5

Why do we have endless exceptions to the general rule? I’m so confused. #AskHASHT5

Nagkagirlfriend na ba kayo? kung oo, Paano nangyari yon? #AskHASHT5

pwedi na daw tiran ang moon? wala ba kayong balak magpatiuna? #AskHASHT5

How will you deal with poverty and corruption that had been roaming around, and what does it feel like to be the result of it? #AskHASHT5

How does force and distance relate to Work? #AskHASHT5

If a coconut falls from a tree at 2.46 seconds, neglecting the friction, explain the theory of relativity using a pink ballpen. #AskHASHT5

IF I GAVE OMAR 5 APPLES AND THE TRAIN ARRIVED 5 MINUTES LATE. CALCULATE THE MASS OF THE SUN NEEDED TO FORM ONE MINION. #AskHASHT5

which of u is the murderer of SOCO’s latest episode? #AskHASHT5

how can u help the economics of pur country? #AskHASHT5

x + y is equals to? #AskHASHT5

#AskHASHT5 Alin ho mas makapal itsura niyo o encyclopedia?

Ano ang positibong maiaambag ng samahan nyo sa pag unlad ng mga kabataan sa makabagong panahon ng social media? In 5 page essay #AskHASHT5

Kung bibigyan kayo ng pagkakataon maging artista, sa tingin nyo bibigyan ba kayo ng pagkakataon? Haha. #AskHASHT5

Why my efforts aren’t enough? #AskHASHT5

explain your fame using defferentials and inequalities #AskHASHT5

Kayo na ba ang epekto ng pagkatalo ng Gilas? #AskHASHT5

marlou gunting ba ng yero pinang gugupit sa buhok mo? 🙌🙌😂😂 #AskHASHT5

Kayo po ba yung nakita ko sa Walking Dead? Curious lang po #AskHASHT5

meat and greet o meet and great? anong klaseng dictionary meron kayo? #AskHASHT5

Wala ba kayo balak sumuko sa mga otoridad? #AskHASHT5

Bakit sa tuwing nakikita ko kayo, di ko maiwasan itago ang cellphone ko? #AskHASHT5

May balak ba kayong patalsikin ang BTS sa kpop industry? #AskHASHT5

Kung lalabas kayo sa split screen gaya ng AlDub, pano nyo gustong hatiin ang mga mukha nyo? Horizontal or vertical? #AskHasht5

Ano nauna, itlog o manok? #AskHASHT5

masaya lang po ba ang pwedeng umorder ng happy meal sa mcdo? @WeAreHASHT5 #AskHASHT5

Anang isang netizen:

“among the 5 of you guys who is the most and least handsome? explain using pythagorean theorem #AskHASHT5”

“Where will you be having your meet and GREAT this Halloween? #AskHASHT5″…

“So which one of you stole my phone? #AskHASHT5”

“How will you counter the Gravitational Acceleration by using Pythagorean Theorem? #AskHASHT5”

“#AskHASHT5 WHAT IS THE CORRELATION BETWEEN THE COEFFICIENT OF FRICTION AND THE AMOUNT OF FORCE NEEDED TO MOVE THE OBJECT”

“If you will have a chance to leave the Philippines why not today? #AskHASHT5”

“Ano pong ginawa nyo bakit isinumpa kayo? #AskHASHT5”

TAPOS ETO YATA ISA SA MGA SAGOT NILA.

“@WeAreHASHT5: Sory tlaga sa di masagot. Sobrang dami pu at paulit olet lang naman. Piece tayo #AskHASHT5”

Samantala, bukas ang TweetNewscaster sa panig ng Hasht5 para sagutin nila ang mga katanungang nabanggit.


Featured Image Credit: Profile Picture, Hasht5 Official Facebook page.

 

Voting for Duterte: A Biblical Response.

christiansaguyan

image

Rodrigo “Digong” Duterte is a presidential candidate for the Phillipines this 2016. He is politically succesful but morally controversial. While serving as a Mayor for more than 20 years, he has turned his city of Davao from one of the worst cities into one of (if not) the safest and most organised cities in the entire Phillipines. His success is attributed to his ‘heartless’ attitude towards criminals and his toughness against injustice and inequality. However, mayor Duterte is also known for his ‘immoral’ habits such as gambling, womanising, drinking and swearing.

This dilemma seems to ‘cripple’ some Christian netizens because they want a leadership like Duterte’s, but at the same time they feel as though they are condoning his un-Christian behaviour if ever they opt to vote for him.

So, if you are a Christian Filipino citizen and you are undecided because you want to glorify God in choosing the…

View original post 1,259 more words

Duterte: I’ll speak English or Bisaya next time

duterte_2_1MANILA, Philippines – What you see is what you get.

After various media groups, Father Socrates Villegas, and some netizens had immediately cursed Duterte over his alleged cursing to Pope Francis, Davao City Mayor and presidentiable Rodrigo Duterte had quickly responded to the situation and issued an apology to those people who he had unintentionally offended. In his post:

In a separate interview with the iron-fisted mayor, he told: “I am expressing sadness and regret to what I said last time. My statements are not meant to offend our Pope, who had spent his time to visit us.

“If you’re thinking that I am cursing Pope Francis, why not try to remove the expletives? There you will see the whole context of what I am saying. As a matter of fact, even the Pope himself accidentally used an expletive while addressing the crowd.

“I am expecting this. They did not understand what Roxas really mean when he said, ‘If you enter the airport with contraband, then how does that become the government’s problem?’.  They never realized that what he really wants to explain to us is for us to cooperate with government authorities instead of just blaming and complaining to them. Now, how much more if I will be the one speaking to the public?

“Since many do not really understand me, from now on, I will use only Bisaya or English in all my speeches. No more, no less. Most of the Bisaya people, even if they don’t want me to become president, will understand fully the context. Let the ones who believe in me translate these for those who don’t have deep understanding.

“That’s me, really. Accept me who I really am. If you’re still comfortable with the usual leaders, don’t vote for me. If you’re still finding an ideal leader, don’t vote for me. If you’re still searching for someone who is perfect or a saint, don’t vote for me. That’s simple.”

Meanwhile, another supporter of Duterte has advice to the city mayor:

“Dear Mayor, please be careful. Hope this would be the last time you will frequently use expletives in your speech. I still believe that your speech last time would not be the sole reason not to vote you.

“And please, just DuIT. As they say, less talk, less mistake. May God bless you.”

The Malacañang Palace, on the other hand, had earlier accepted his apology immediately:

“Bilang isang Katoliko siyempre maganda na humingi siya ng paumanhin…siguro magandang gesture,” Lacierda said.    (As a Catholic, of course it was nice that he apologized. Perhaps, it was a good gesture.)

“Since it’s Christmas, and with the spirit of mercy and compassion, we have now forgiven the Davao City Mayor for his ‘expletive’ against the head of the Roman Catholic Church. Let’s move on now,” he added.

 


WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.


 

Featured Image Credit: Duterte and his speech.