DUBAI, United Arab Emirates – Magbunyi! (Rejoice!)
This was the expression of one of most-followed personalities in Facebook, Senyora Santibañez, after publishing her first-ever book entitled as Lakompake (I Don’t Care). After its publication, her followers swarmed over various bookstores in the country hoping for them to get their own copy, leading to the success of Senyora’s book sales.
Lakompake is her first book describing the various journeys in her hacienda. It also contains her love advices coming from different experiences she faced. The book includes practical tips that are extremely helpful for her followers.
Lahat ng pwede kong maisulat ay naisulat ko na para MASAKTAN ko lang ang mga DAMDAMIN n’yo. Hindi ito recommended sa mga mahihina ang puso at mga takot harapin ang reyalidad. MASASAKTAN lang kayo. Wag mag expect na may ginintuang aral dito. PWE
(All [my thoughts] that I wanted to write [here in this book] have been written by me to hurt your feelings. This is not recommended for those who have weak hearts and those who are afraid to face the realities of life. You will be hurt. Don’t expect some important lessons here.)
In a separate interview, Senyora was given the chance to promote her book, but she replied: “Sa sobrang sama ng ugali ko, hindi ko sasabihin ang lahat ng nilalaman ng libro ko. Bahala na kayong basahin iyan pwe.” (With my very bad attitude, I will not tell all the contents of my book. Just read that.)
Instead of promoting her book, Senyora disclosed that she had gone on a vacation to Dubai to escape the stress.
“Dahil ang dami ko na namang nauto, yehey! May pang-bakasyon na ako. Dahil sa libro ko, makakabili na rin ako ng malawak na hacienda sa Dubai. Mas magiging malawak pa ito kaysa sa aking hacienda sa Pinas pwe.” (Because I have fooled many, yehey! I have now money for my vacation. Because of my book, I can buy too a wide estate in Dubai. It will be wider than my estate in the Philippines.)
She told that being bored in the Philippines was another factor that pushed her to go out of the country and meet Arab friends. “Naghahanap din po ako ng mga Arabo na susuporta sa akin. Hindi lamang si Anurag ang puwede kong kaibiganin pwe. It’s so evergreen na kasi.” (I am also searching for Arabs who will support me. Anurag is not my only friend. It’s because it is so evergreen.)
Second book planned
To support further her plans to buy various haciendas around the world, and to extend further her vacation, Senyora is working on crafting another book to be titled as Lakongdede (I Have No Breasts).
“Tutal, kada post ko, lagi nilang sinasabi sa akin na wala akong dede. Bakit nila totoong pinoproblema ang dede ko? Kakaasar pwe. Sa second book na ito makikita nila ang sagot ko sa mga tanong nila pwe.” (Anyway, everytime I post, they always tell me that I have no breasts. Why do they really have to take my breasts as their problem. So annoying. In this second book they will see my reply to their questions.)
“Sinasabi nila na iyon at iyon din ang dress na lagi kong sinusuot. Truelaloo iyon. Kailangan kasing naka-uniform kapag haharap ka sa mga alipin mo, di ba? Nagpakita pa nga ako ng cleavage para maniwala sila na hindi flat ang dede ko, pero anyare? Photoshopped daw. My gad. I hate frogs.” (They tell me that I always wear the same dress. That’s true. I need to be in uniform when facing my servants, won’t I? I even showed my cleavage to make them believe that my breasts aren’t flat, but what happened? They thought my picture was edited.)
Always out of stock
When Lakongpake had been first published, many of her followers had expressed interest in buying its copies. Some had travelled to various places in search of her books but to no avail, stockouts being the main reason.
When asked about those various persons who wanted to buy a copy of the book and yet had not given one, Senyora replied,
Sa mga nais magsend ng entry mag message or email lamang. EMAIL na lang dahil minsan di ko nababasa sa fb pwe
Sa mga nais magpadelete ng entry email lang.
(For those who want to send their entries, just message or e-mail me. E-MAIL only since sometimes I can’t read your requests in Facebook.
For those who want to delete their entries, just e-mail me.)
Her final message to her followers was “Lakompake kung nakabili man kayo ng libro ko o hindi. Basta bumili kayo pwe.” (I don’t care if you have bought my book or not. Just grab a copy.)
WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.