MILO names Gary V. as new endorser

MANILA, Philippines – A new endorser has arrived.

After running a viral video for several days regarding so-called “energy gap,” Nestle’s chocolate drink brand MILO has finally chosen Gary Valenciano, popularly known as Gary V., to be their new product ambassador starting this 2017.

Reasons for picking

MILO, in their statement, expressed the reason for picking Mr. Pure Energy as the new endorser.

“Although we have chosen James Reid to endorse this for popularity purposes, and although this had tickled the ears of many people, we thought that the video still lacked appeal.”

“We had chosen him as temporary endorser while we are looking for the perfect one. And we think God had answered our prayers.”

“Gary Valenciano, for so many years, has lived up to the very nickname bestowed on him, that is, Mr. Pure Energy. We have watched various videos of his performances, and we have not seen yet any instance of his tiredness or dizziness.”

“At first, we have considered Sarah (Geronimo), but an information has reached that if she does not take a medicine full of iron, she would look tired and pale. Meanwhile, even if Gary V. had not yet taken the medicine, his energy would be limitless.”

“There’s one instance of his video that amuses us:”

“He is a perfect example of a person without energy gap.”

“If he can beat energy gap, so can we!”

Energetic yet surprised

Gary Valenciano stated that he was flattered when he was being picked up as the new endorser of a chocolate drink brand.

“Actually, I was surprised. What were my credentials that would be the reason to pick me as their ambassador? Surely, I do not like sweets due to (health reasons).”

“My motto is simple, and Kuya Germs (German Moreno) was my inspiration for this. Kung si Kuya Germs, ang sinabi niya ayWalang tulugan’, sa akin naman ehWalang ayawan,’ lalo’t pag di pa tapos ang tugtugan.” (If Kuya Germs’ line is ‘Don’t sleep,’ mine is ‘Don’t stop,’ especially if the song’s not yet finished.)

Si James Reid ang nag-refer sa akin sa MILO dahil baka nakikita niya na magaling akong sumayaw. Sinabi niya sa akin kung bakit hindi ako sumali, eh fit na fit ang role ko sa ine-endorse niya.” (James Reid referred me to MILO maybe because he sees me that I am great in dancing. He told me why not join there, while my role fits that of what he endorses.)

Sabi pa nga sa kanta ko, ‘Hataw na! Huwag kang mapagod…’ At palagay ko nai-apply ko ito sa aking sarili.” (My song has these lyrics, ‘Groove now! Don’t feel tired…’ And I think I am applying this to myself.”)

New role

As of press time, Mr. Pure Energy is formulating another dance craze. He told, “This dance will help our kids become more energized.”

According to inside sources, Gary V. never showed signs of exhaustion even if he crafted the dance for straight seven hours.

Further luck, success

Nestle in its separate statement, commented on what will happen on the cast and crew of the upcoming video, “We predict that while the shooting is going on, one by one, many of our staff and our dancers will get tired of dancing. However, Gary V. will still dance. This is based on our assumption that the shooting will cover many takes and cuts.”

The firm further added, “We are pleased to work with Gary Valenciano. We wish him success in his upcoming video and we’re pretty sure that this will be a hit after that of James Reid.”


WARNING: This article is a joke, is intended to be read for enjoyment, is intended for fun, and this should not be read seriously. TweetNewscaster is not responsible for any loss or injury associated in believing that this article is very real.

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