Love Advice No. 52 (Full English)

This is my way of saying “thank you” for those who appreciate and read this site, especially non-Filipinos.

It has been more than a year since I wrote this article. Times have changed, but still, studying accounting in the Philippines is a very difficult task. I had told that guy that their situation will be difficult in case his girlfriend will take another examination due last month, which I myself had taken.

That guy has a dilemma: He has a girlfriend, who is pursuing an Accountancy course. And yes, her dream is to be a Certified Public Accountant (or a Chartered Accountant)[1]. As she pursues her dream, she spends less time with him, which puzzles the guy. To understand what this is all about, let’s take a look at this love advice:

From the UST Files:

My Girl is from AMV

Hello. I am not from UST (University of Santo Tomas in Manila). My girlfriend is from UST-AMV College of Accountancy.[2]

I just want to ask if this is really normal for them. I and my girlfriend had been together for so long, for almost six years. She was my classmate when we were in high school. Yes, she’s industrious and she’s smart. But even with that attitude, she has time for me. Now, matters became worse.

When she was in first year college (Grade 11), our situation’s a little bit okay because she frequently went home (in our province). So, we have no problem in our relationship then.

Our problem started when she was in her second year (Grade 12). She almost never went home to our province due to studies. She needs to be exempted from the retention examination. It seems that thing is so important for her. For two semester, she goes home for only once a month. But, it’s okay. She had reached that goal, and I love her so much, so I understand the situation even if that accounting course had stolen her from me and all that she is doing is for her future.

Now that she is in third year, I do not know what really happened. I can understand her. However, our relationship had affected. I am concerned too for her. She always come home late. That thing whenever she comes home before 8 p.m. from the library and then take a short nap. Afterwards, she will go to the coffee shop to study till midnight. And if we go on a date, she always bring study materials. It’s difficult for her to go home in our province since she has a Saturday class and she needs to attend classes every Monday at 7 a.m. For her, she’s tired of going back home for she will travel back to school the next day.

Are they like that? Is this normal? It hurts to think that in just a few days, their classes will start. She will leave me again.

Highschool Love

My Advice:

Don’t be surprised anymore. Why? You said a while ago, “she’s industrious and she’s smart.” These are the traits we want in a girl, aren’t they? We want those girls who think of their future and our future, isn’t it?

Question: Is your girlfriend in her fifth year in college?

Find Out Why She’s Like That

It’s better to look at the prospectus (or list of subjects she takes) of her course in AMV and ask its dean about it for you to see and think why she rarely goes home to the province:

In the first years of her course, since the subjects she took were very light, it’s almost not a problem for her to go home. But as the years go on, her subjects become increasingly difficult, so her visit becomes less frequent. In the first years of her course, since the subjects she took were very light, she has more free time in the University of Santo Tomas. But as the years go on, her subjects become increasingly difficult, therefore the free time she spents becomes lesser and lesser. She must think of studies first.

For Her and Your Future

Bro, she needs to focus more on her studies. Don’t you know that she is doing all of these for her future and for your future?

If you’ll look at it closely, you’re lucky, and “you should be glad because she does it for her future (or ‘future for both of you’ if ever you and that girl are together)”. If your girlfriend can digest what she learned in those accounting subjects, it’s possible that your relationship will last. Why do I say this? We know that many relationships become a failure later on because of money. Figuratively stated, love is thrown outside the window if financial problems enter your relationship. In accounting, both of you will overcome these financial problems, and therefore, this might save your relationship.

Of course, she wanted to fulfill her dreams. This has no adverse effect on your relationship. This course is not a person (or in legal parlance, a natural person) to get jealous with. What you only need to do is to support her in her dreams. Someday, she might propose to you (for a wedding) in an instant instead of you doing this. (Just ask the accounting professors, CPAs, or Chartered Accountants why I am saying this.)

Normal for Accountancy Students

Are they like that? Yes.

Is this normal? Absolutely yes.

Bro, it is normal for accountancy students to study very hard, especially if they attend in schools with good reputation or with strict retention requirements for students. This is regardless if she is studying with UST or a university offering that course. In short, many schools are strict in choosing accountancy students.

They need to study well to attain their dream of being a CPA or a Chartered Accountant. It is normal for accountancy students, whether they are under internship, studies, or in actual field to study and experience this kind of stress. It is normal for accountancy students to have no time for themselves, for their boyfriend/girlfriend, for their friends, for their parents, and others, especially if they will not manage their time properly.

By the way, what are your strong bases for you to say that she will leave you? Did she say to you, “Babe, it’s better for us to part ways”? At that time you visited her once, did you saw her clinging with other boys? Maybe, the truth is that as she’s studying, she thinks of you just to overcome the challenges she face. Maybe, the truth is that you are her energy booster.

Another thing: You need to focus on your studies too. You must learn that not at all times you need to be with her. Another told you, “Learn to be independent,” because it would be difficult for you if you are always dependent on her, while you have done nothing for yourself.

May I quote another who said: “If you don’t have the capacity to understand her, if her study is an issue for you, sorry, but you are just a big obstacle for her future.” If you are impatient, I am really very sorry. You have no choice but to let her go.

What to Do

You must make an effort too. Otherwise, there’s a big chance that you and that girl will part ways.

Love is like accounting. It is not good if your girlfriend debits his love to you, while you do not credit your love to her. She finds it difficult to adjust and adjust to your situation, while you do not adjust to your situation also. This means that your relationship is out of balance. The ending is that the CPA or the Chartered Accountant will give you an audit report which states that “Your love to her is not fairly presented, in all material respects…”

What you will only do is to let her feel that you are there for her. You need to guide her while she’s studying at UST. You must encourage her. You must help her. You must need to understand her situation.

A netizen had told, “You must travel to see her. What are you expecting: Send her home? She’s tired of studying, and she’s exhausted in travelling! You are a man. You are suffering but you have done nothing to ease that.” Please, make her sacrifices worth it. Make her happy by doing this even just once. By going to Manila, you will make her feel that you are there for her. Aside from this, this will clear the issues haunting you.

Why not help her too? It would be a big thing for her to carry her grossly-thick textbooks (in which  authors Valix, Dayag, and Cabrera, etc. are to blame for this)[3]. This will lessen the stress she carries.

Why not give her scholarships, too? We know that as much as possible, we will give financial assistance just to make our girlfriends happy. This might be your chance, and by giving these, you can help to lessen your girlfriend’s stress when it comes to financial problems. Someday, your girlfriend will tell you, “I’m proud to be a boyfriend’s scholar.” Isn’t it pleasant to hear that?

Accounting Is Not A Joke

To tell you frankly, accounting is not a joke. If she finds it difficult in UST, “did you know that even if you take the accountancy course in your province, it is really not a joke?” If her foundations in basic accounting and theories in all accounting subjects are weak, it would be more difficult for her to understand financial and advanced accounting. Maybe these last two subjects mentioned were the reasons why she rarely gets home to your province.

She needs to pass these subjects and the requirements assigned to her so that her standing in that course will be maintained. She needs to study and study so that she will understand the concepts and strategies taught in the course.

And if she is experiencing the stress at the time you had shared this problem in the UST Files, she will experience more stress now, especially if she will take the board exam starting October 2017. It is because she has more things to learn in her course.[4]

Final Words

In your situation, this will test how much you love her – from the time you feel your love for her. Take this situation as a challenge for you.

I know that you really worry about her. A netizen had told you, “You worry more on your girlfriend than her parents’ worry to her.” But limit your worries to that gal, for you have actually no reason to feel that way.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that your girlfriend will not be locked forever in UST-AMV. If she is still your girlfriend till now, you’re lucky. Just wait a little bit and you will see the good results of waiting for her.

Author’s Notes:

  1. In this article, we will use the term Certified Public Accountant (as used in the Philippines and in the United States) or the Chartered Accountant (as used in Australia, Canada, Singapore, and the United Kingdom) to refer to professional accountants. This hopes that this article will reach to all the people in the world as much as possible.
  2. UST-AMV College of Accountancy. The University of Santo Tomas is the oldest university in Southeast Asia, established on 1611 (or 406 years later), much older than Harvard University in the United States. The AMV College of Accountancy, also known as the Alfredo M. Velayo College of Accountancy is a department under the university offering the said course. Its accountancy course is recognized as one of the most prestigious and most advanced schools offering this course in the Philippines.
  3. Valix, Dayag, and Cabrera are one of the leading authors of accounting textbooks. They are also known for notoriously bulky books.
  4. This was written more than a year ago. Just recently, the author had rarely wrote articles due to preparations for this exam. Arguably, the October 2017 examination was the most difficult examination to date due to the following: (1) The Taxation subject was the most difficult subject encountered by most examinees, (2) addition of more recent topics for the first time, particularly on Taxation and Law subjects, (3) low passing rate (about 30% of those who took the examination), and (4) long delay of releasing the exam results caused by jeepney strike pervading Manila and nearby provinces at that time.

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